ARGHYA: THE MAGIC OF SUNLIGHT

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Every morning when we wake up and go outside our homes for a morning walk, to collect news paper, to have fresh air, to see the Sun rise or for any other simple reason(s), we see various people  looking towards east from where the Sun rises with a vessel in their hand (Lota) and pouring water from it. Most of us see it and just simply ignore it as a simple practice followed by various people throughout India. But very few people know the actual science that our sages developed thousands of years ago regarding this practice of offering water to Sun.

Arghya is a Sanskrit term, which means “Offering to the Lord” (in this case it means offering water to Sun). Many people wake up in the morning to perform this activity unerringly. But some questions needs to be asked before proceeding any further:

  • Has anyone thought that why…

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My childhood ft. Sadist

“You know what? Your cousin brother Sagar has a girlfriend! He used to pee in his pants on hearing his father’s footsteps. The same lad has come to this today! Can you believe it? He has declared that he’ll marry only her. My mother exclaimed. “At least we know it’s a girl. Don’t worry Maa. ” I chuckled.

So someone in my family had finally taken an unconventional step. I can’t recall any close relative of mine marrying someone they love. He’d be the first one to have a love marriage. Brave guy he is. This should ideally change the mindset of my family towards love marriage – fingers crossed!

One fine day my aunt called my mom up and told her that Aarti’s (my future sister in law) parents would be visiting us. My mother’s happiness knew no bound for she was too excited to meet them. Now, here is the thing with marriages and ladies – marriage is the one thing that overwhelms women truly, after diamonds and kids, of course. Just give them a faint hint that someone known to them is getting married and then see how their eyes sparkle with joy.

A whole hour after receiving call my aunt called, was spent on making my house more presentable. New bed sheets replaced older ones and I was instructed to clean the room as if my own future in laws were coming (My mother has a habit of emotionally torturing me!). After I was done with helping my mother in cleaning the room I was sent to get some snacks and cookies for the guests. This is what I don’t like. I put in a lot of efforts in getting these Samosas, cookies and other delicious snacks and no one thanks me, nor do they refuse to eat them so that I can get more to eat. However, there is nothing I can do in this.

Finally, after two hours they arrived with my uncle, aunt and brother. After a long introduction (which did not involve me because I am not that important, apparently.) they moved to the the drawing room. I went to get water for them. When I came back my uncle said, “Meet this poor boy. He is the younger son of Sagar’s mamaji (maternal uncle). He has to do all the household chores alone. He is fulfilling the duties of a sincere girl.” Saying this my uncle let out his demonic laughter and everyone followed his footsteps. I couldn’t understand what was funny about it? Somehow their laughter subsided. The elders soon started talking and were getting to know each other. After a while I went to help my mother with snacks and tea, while I was serving them my aunt quoted, “If Abhishek was a girl, we would be busy finding a suitable boy for him. Look at him, he is so obedient.” This is what I get in return of all the hospitality I offer.

I am used to these unusual complicated compliments now but the thing that was new to me, was meeting my brother’s in laws. They were pretty much normal people, but that fact that they were ‘in laws’ of my brother made them special. There was something different about it. However this did not inhibit my family from embarrassing me. Being the youngest in one’s family is a big advantage. But like every coin there’s a flip side. That one disadvantage balances all of the advantages we’ve got.

“Elders will always pull our leg irrespective of the situation. To them we are just a means of letting out their anger and making others believe that they are funny.”

That day was no different. They were supposed to talk about the marriage rituals and other important matters, but no! They all thought that making fun of me was clearly of higher priority. My whole childhood was stripped naked in front of them. All this would seem cute if you were small but once you are twenty you really don’t want people to know about your blackouts when faced by that beautiful teacher in first grade. Such jokes did fetch a big round of applause for my uncle who was on fire. In situations like these you badly want the 2012 apocalypse to happen.

Needless to say almost every secret of mine was extensively manipulated and revealed. It was like Sajid Khan making a biopic on me-everything was exaggerated and made no sense! I was helpless at that time. All I could do was to smile shamelessly, ignoring all that I could. After a while they went on to play the rapid fire round.
“He used to smile while peeing, always, even in his sleep!” my mother chuckled.
“Once we made him wear a frock. That was his favourite dress when he was one and a half year old.” This time it was my father.
This went on for fifteen more minutes after which I had to request them to stop for obvious reasons (Embarrassment ∝ Time).
To this my brother replied, “Shall we get you married then, after all you are a grownup now. Right?”
And this started another discussion in which I was married to almost every girl I’d ever met. I don’t know why elders do this. What good does this do? They were supposed to do something else but look at them! A few minutes back they were busy narrating embarrassing incidents about me and now they were awkwardly pairing me up with girls.
“Mamaji, how about that girl who always had a running nose? I mean he has sinus, she has a permanent cold. They’ll make a lovely pair. I wonder what ailment his children will have.” Yes my brother has a disgusting sense of humour.
“No Sagar, don’t do that to him. You know he loved that cute little girl with the three ponies. He always shared his toffees with her.” I seriously wanted to die at that moment.
And if all this happens to you, remember to never smile but laugh! Because if you smile, they will certainly pull a collective Awwwww and will then tease you more because to them you just ‘blushed’.
“Arre leave all that. Abhishek you tell us what kind of a girl you’d like? Maybe we can help.” The in-laws decided to help me.
I couldn’t answer to this properly as I had never thought about it. So they asked further which heroine I liked. So they could get a better idea. (Smart move, homies!)
“I like Priyanka Chop…” I hadn’t even finished the sentence when my brother said, “Priyanka Chopra! Seriously? Ha ha, you look half GoGo half Nandu (Shakti Kapoor’s role in Raja Babu) and you want a girl like her. Such a hypocrite you are Veenu (my nick name).”
Moments like these justify the high crime rate in India.
That day they unexpectedly did talk about the marriage, however the damage they did to me was irreparable. I being a brave child did not utter a single word against them and that one impromptu discussion about my marriage however hypothetical, did inflict some inconsolable damage on my psyche. I let them torture me, for I knew one thing, one simple thing, that all days are not the same. When I did stupid stuff they laughed at me and even after twenty years they made fun of me. Let time alone take the revenge. I’ll see my brother when he has kids and witness every funny incident that will happen with him and his child. Let me warn them that I will not come alone, I’ll come with a powerful weapon of mass exposure and destruction – ‘The DSLR’. *Evil laugh*. I’ll capture every incident and laugh at it every day, forever.
“As you sow, so shall you reap.” Period.

‘Tenant’ Hunt

This blog is about my family’s hunt for a suitable tenant. For those who don’t know, we have a spare 2 room set in our house which has been put up for rent. In the month of January this year, our tenants left the house as they’d bought a new flat two blocks away. Thus began our hunt for new tenants. The requirements of a landlord are quite similar to that of an Indian who has crossed his/her ‘ideal’ age of marriage. All he/she wants is a companion – age no bar, caste and religion no bar, just a normal human required. When I tell someone that I have tenants in my house they look at me as if I’ve a hen who lay golden eggs. They only thing they see is the rent the tenants pay. Yes, to have them pay for a section of our house is beneficial. However, it isn’t a rosy picture. Many a times they are such a pain in the buttocks (see I omitted the word ‘ass’, each one of my articles has a ‘U’ certificate!) that the rent fails to compensate for it.

One fine morning a fine gentleman dropped by my house to enquire about the room. I called my father so he could talk to him. He gave an introduction about himself and asked basic questions about the rent, electricity, water supply etc, which was perfectly normal. However the things which he was about to ask were quite amusing.

“That is all fine uncle, I just wanted to know whether the first rays of sun lighten up the rooms in the morning or not?” he asked innocently.

“Umm, yeah sure. I mean I’ve shown you the rooms and they had perfect ventilation and lighting. You did see it for yourself. Right?” my father initially stumbled but somehow answered him.

“Yes, I saw them but it is 10:23 am right now. Four hours and twelve minutes past the sunrise, so I just want to make sure that at the time of sunrise the sun’s rays lighten up the room.”

“Why do you want it so badly?” my father seemed a bit frustrated.

“Actually uncle my purohit ji suggested that I practiced yoga around sunrise. Also I don’t use alarm clocks, rather I let the first rays of the sun to wake me up. It helps me to get rid of the bad powers residing inside me. You know how it is. I want to get rid of my bad Karma. Beside this, my body will make Vitamin D, it helps my skin look young.” He said cheerfully.

My father had to drink a glass of water to digest all the gyaan that this twenty five year old guy gave. Apparently we didn’t give the room to him but that guy made me believe that sun rays are a lot more than Vitamin D and tanning.

Some people inquire in a manner that’d suggest that they want to break the record for ‘most number of questions asked in a minute.’ I don’t know why they do this. Sometimes the conversation starts on the topic on renting the rooms but ends at something else, in worst cases the conversations are forcefully closed.

My family members will agree on everything except for politics, this is the only topic on which they fight. My grandfather supports the Congress for some reasons while my father supports BJP for other reasons of his own. When someone triggers this topic, my house becomes the battleground for the clash of the titans. I still remember that my grandfather finalized the deal with an uncle who was very nice and sober, he did everything correct to earn the keys to our rooms however while leaving he passed a comment on the governance of Congress. I won’t say that this was his mistake, but one should be careful while passing comments on sensitive topics like election. That one casual comment led to a fierce debate on Congress vs BJP and eventually that uncle gave up the keys. That silly comment had cost us a month’s rent.

Similar things happened when a couple came to see the rooms. They were in the mid-forties and were a bit sophisticated. Two weeks before their arrival I had challenged myself to grow a full-fledged beard (I was hoping to look like Ranbir Kapoor of Yeh Jawaani h Deewani movie *the dreams I see, I tell you!*). The look I sported at that very moment was far from my expectation. Let’s just say that if a girl was given a chance to rate my looks on the scale of one to ten, there was a very high probability that she might have given me a binary digit.

After that couple had asked the basic questions, the lady turned very serious, not the serious kind of serious, but scary serious. She asked my father in a very low yet intense voice. “You are aware of the ill treatment with girls nowadays. Can you assure us that nothing is going to happen with our daughter? You know how boys are these days.” Saying this she turned towards me and gave me a stern look. Trust me it took me a complete week to forget that look! I know I looked like that dreadful person whose photograph is in my voter ID card but that doesn’t mean that I ill-treat girls! She was one hell of a crazy judgmental women.

Not always do these rental conversations end up like this. Once a lady tried to marry-off her sister to me but when she came to know that I have an elder brother who is a thousand times smarter than me, my value decreased substantially. With that, one she lost the chance to live with us; two: her sister is unmarried even now. It is rightly said that one should not be greedy. Had she not rejected me for my brother, who knows that the room might have been hers?

Sometimes people behave as if we are the ones who came to them for room. Once a family came to see the rooms, after inspecting every corner of the rooms the head of the family said, “Your house isn’t well built. Here, take this card and consult the guy mentioned on it. He is my brother-in-law, he is a maestro in the construction business. Also if we live here, you will have to stop eating non-veg food items and mind it, eggs also come under this category!” Can you believe this guy? Who can say that he is in a need of a house? All my father could do at that time was to show them the exit door.

Also, whenever we tell them the rent, everyone behaves like the guy in the Fiat Linea advertisement, “Thoda kam ni ho skta.” Fiat Linea advertisement
I can’t complain much about this habit people have as we Indians take pride in bargaining and negotiating. It is our birth right. Still, sometimes it gets too far. Sometimes people get too interested about our personal lives. Some become over friendly with us in the first meeting itself, they think laughing at every joke or my sarcastic one liners will get them the room. If someone starts giving you a high five on every joke you crack in the first meeting, how would you feel? I don’t know about others but it just feels creepy.

I don’t understand why people behave so weirdly. I do understand that living in someone else’s house is difficult and you have to adjust a lot make it happen but that doesn’t mean that you have to doubt one’s moral character or try to fix the marriage of your sibling with the landlord’s son. That just doesn’t make sense. There is no reason to behave in this way.

Having tenants over is easier said than done. Sometimes people reveal their true skin after they start living, this makes it even worse. However, being with new people is somewhat fun. You learn a lot and there is an abundance of funny incidents to laugh at. I just hope that our tenants don’t read this blog, else we’ll have to start the ‘Tenant Hunt’ again.

Not a Child’s Play

It had been sixty seven days, the longest spell since any of my relatives had visited us. I love that I am blessed with a really big family. So big that you can’t even take a single photograph of everyone – not even in the panorama view. I was about to go to my friend’s house when the phone rang. It was my brother, he was to visit our family that day. The relation by which I am related to him was surprisingly known to me this time.

After about two hours, they arrived. I saw them for the first time since their marriage two years ago. My brother had developed a family pack abs instead of six packs that he used to have before marriage and my bhabhi (brother’s wife) carried their six months old son in her arms. They looked perfect together.

As for me I know how to greet my elders when I meet them, but I am helpless with toddlers. I don’t know how I am supposed to behave with them. I am simply clueless. I know there are guys who are comfortable with kids around them but I, being an average guy, don’t fall into that category.
All I know is- “Hey! You were not there when I attended your parents’ marriage.”- is not the appropriate opening line to your infant nephew. The confused look that my bhabhi gave approved of this weird behavior of mine.

Also there is a stark difference in the way boys and girls treat kids.
When a guy meets a child he is like, OK a kid. Cool *Stay away from me* and will resume his work, if he wasn’t doing something he will immediately generate some new ‘super important child repellent’ work.
However the opposite happens when a girl sees a child. Every girl treats every kid as her own. She would take extra care for them, whether they puke, pee or pinch them. They never complain. It is like they are born to handle kids who too, are friendly with them.

Babies are the most careless, arrogant, cutest and most innocent form of humans possible. These guys have every liberty to shit around and later laugh at that. The attention seeking freaks are the most ruthless beings you will ever see. They will bite you, pull your hair and throw your spectacles, thereby turning you blind. And the greatest trick these devils play are the faces that they make whenever you even think of scolding them.download

Some say marriage turns a ‘boy’ into a ‘man’ – means he becomes mature. This is true, I do agree with it but there are some things you can’t change about a human male. Treating kids is one of them. The way they behave with kids is hilarious.Dad-alone-with-baby-6

There is a specific way of talking to kids. I am unknown of its origin and I suck at practicing it but I know a lot about it. (Observing helps a lot)
Rule 1: Compliment them as much as you can. You need not work hard on this, the moment you see them you’ll automatically compliment them.
Rule 2: If they respond to you always, add some irrelevant repetitive bi-syllable words preceded by vowels before your sentence. Like Olelelelelelelele, Alelelelele, Ololololo.
You can even club small words together, just remember to repeat them. Like if you want to say no, say it like nononononono. They will love it.
Rule 3: They hate grammar Nazis. If you are one of them, shed that skin of yours before you talk to them.
Rule 4: Change every ‘r’ by ‘l’, omit some alphabets from words and always add ‘h’ to ‘s’.
Rule 5: You can say Awww as much as you want to, they won’t object.
Now if you follow the above rules in mind you can talk to them perfectly. If you want to say, “You are so cute.” Say it like this: “Olelelelelele, you ale shoooooow showww cute.” and bazinga! You have prepared a perfect sentence for them.

Toddlers are very close to their mothers. They should be, for they know how to care for them in the appropriate way. However sometimes this caring turns into something else. I have seen many ‘first time’ mothers. Broadly speaking they are of four types.
1. The Enthusiastic Mother: She is the most common one and can go on days describing the activities their kid does. She narrates every ‘first thing’ their kid does with enthusiasm and pride. First bath, first step, first instance of peeing on a person, first time he ate mud, his cute idiotic mischief and so on.

2. The Whining Mothers: They are always unhappy with their kid. He is so weak, he is 5 months old now why doesn’t he sit? Is this normal for a kid of his age? Will he grow up to be smart? She never gets satisfied with her kid.

3. The “Why am I” a Mother: She is the one who hates being a mother. Her kid is the perfect example of her wrong family planning. Her face says it all. She is the rarest to find.

4. The Forever a Lover Mother: She will kiss, cuddle, hug or squeeze her child after every 10 minutes, irrespective of whatever the kid is doing.

When toddlers are around the whole conversation changes. The parents are always bragging about their kid while others are simply nodding because they know they did the same at some point of time.

My brother, his wife and my parents were having a conversation while I was sitting by my nephew.

“You know what aunt, he called me Maa the other day!” said my bhabhi with pride.
“Really? He did? He is an amazing kid.” Replied my mother. *Considering his age this was indigestible, but everyone agreed.*

“Not even that, he can identify the alphabet A.” there went my bhabhi again.
Now she drew ‘A’ on a paper and asked her son to say out ‘A’ aloud.
“Baby say Aeee, you know it baby say aeee! Make your mumma proud.”

To this my nephew started making bubbles out of his saliva, not doing a single thing he was asked to.
She took control of the situation by saying “He is just shy, otherwise I swear he did it in front of me.”
*Performance pressure is independent of age. Eh?*
“I know beta. We believe you.” My father agreed to her just to lessen the awkwardness in the situation.
“Uncle! He loves Linkin Park. He hums every song of theirs whenever I play them on my phone.” Now it was my brother’s turn. *Give me a break! A six month old child loves Linkin Park. Do you even know what you are saying? He can’t even tell when he is about to poop but he loves a rock band! What is happening here?”

“Haha. I know son, kids love music. When my brother was small he loved listening to the radio.” Said my father. *What is happening to this world? I still watch cartoons and these toothless kids are listening to music. At this moment I had my fingers crossed as I didn’t want my father to start with my childhood stories.*

You might be thinking this cannot get anymore hilarious. In these situations if a lady with a 3-4 year old kid arrives, the whole scene turns into a battleground. Both the ladies will go on to prove whose kid is smarter. All this happens when the kids don’t even give 0.1% attention to the elder’s talks. They’ll be busy eating their hand or making bubbles from their saliva while their silly parents would go on bragging about the super abilities of their children. I wonder who the real ‘kid’ here is.

There is one more thing which makes kids so dangerous to be with. They can humiliate you in the most innocent and unexpected ways possible. I’ve been subjected to numerous embarrassing situations.

1. One of my cousins once visited us, he was five years old then. When he met me the first question he asked was, “Why are you a boy?” He didn’t stop here. He even asked  me the question every adult fears. ” How was I born?” and the worst part he was not willing to accept the fairy version of the whole process. I was thinking of showing him the documentary on birth procedure but then the Chocolate came to my rescue.

2. Once I was buying groceries at a shop. It was pretty hot that day so I was wearing shorts. A little girl came by with her elder sister to buy some chocolates. She looked at my legs and asked, “Where did you get all that hair from? My sister’s got none! How come only you have it?”
That scene still haunts me and needless to say I gave up all my shorts after that.

3. Never ever play with a toddler after one has had milk or any other liquid. They have some serious bladder problems. Whatever goes inside their tummy will come out in exact same amount.

4. Another cousin of mine came in her vacations to visit us. She told me about her interest in coloring. I gave her poster colors and some rough sheets to practice. That three and a half feet tall devil instead painted my favorite T-Shirt with her hands and said “Daag ache hain (Stains are good) thereby imitating the kid in Surf Excel detergent’s advertisement and ran away.

5. Sometimes they demand something which only they can understand. One of cousins asked me to buy a Chuppa. I asked him what that was. He replied that it was a candy. I took him to all the shops nearby my home but couldn’t find his Chuppa. He started crying hysterically demanding his beloved candy. After an hour while he was watching television, he pointed to a lollipop shown in an advertisement and shouted cheerfully, “Bhaiya (Brother)! Chuppa!”

“Only if kids came with a manual, life would have been so much easier.”

Handling children is not a child’s play, they can trick you at their own will. It’s funny when you’re a toddler, how the smallest of things like repetitive syllables can make you laugh. A single chime of a toy can make you smile. A hug can make you feel protected and comfortable. One can pee wherever one want, can eat whatever one like and can do whatever one like. There are no boundaries whatsoever. That is the time when, to you nothing is wrong in the world. Everything seems so perfect. I personally hate kids because they have so much freedom. As we grow, we tend to take things for granted and try finding happiness outside, when in reality they exist in those very syllables, chimes and hugs.

Date with the Dentist

“Maa! I have lot of pain in my jaw! Its killing me. We should see a doctor asap” I shouted at my mother who was busy in the kitchen.

“Call the dentist and get an appointment. The number is stored in my phone.” She replied immediately.

I made the call. I was to meet the dentist at 5:00 pm at his clinic. The pain was unbearable, it felt like someone was constantly hammering my teeth on the left side. However I couldn’t figure out which tooth was the main devil and I didn’t even dare to diagnose it simply because of the pain.

Ideally speaking,a sick person shouldn’t be allowed to work but I guess tooth ache doesn’t qualify for ‘sicknesses’ as I had to do most of my chores that day. Also the ailing man is given sumptuous food to better his palate which degrades after popping ill tasting medicines for a long time. This doesn’t apply to you if you have a tooth problem because any type of food is a big no for you.

At around 4:30 I left for the clinic. It takes 15 minutes to reach there. Had they not written ‘Smile Dental Clinic’ anyone would have mistaken it for a corporate building. The entrance had a big poster with a lot of elegantly smiling faces which were in stark contrast with what was inside. All I saw inside was an elderly couple who were happy because of no reason – this is quite rare these days. Adjacent to them was a lady who was on her phone but a child was constantly trying to get her attention. I strongly doubt that was her own child and lastly there was the receptionist. A girl in her mid-twenties with such attractive features that a guy would intentionally punch himself just to visit her. I went up to her and confirmed my appointment. I was asked to wait for half an hour.

There is a difference between a dentist’s clinic and a normal doctor’s clinic. The former is lot more tidy with less medicines on display and with a more beautiful receptionist.

While I was making these mental notes the child was trying to tell his mother that something was troubling him but I guess his step brother, HTC One was getting all his mother’s attention. She was avoiding him for no reason. When the small guy’s patience crossed the limits he snatched her phone and threw it on the floor. This was followed by a command from his side “Mummy I want to pee!” He almost screamed. This was enough to wake her motherhood up and she took him to bathroom. That day I literally saw money flushed down the toilet. This was one of the costliest visit to the loo I guess.

“Abhishek you can go inside now.” Said the receptionist. It was my turn now so I went inside. I sat down facing a man who looked more like an overweight businessman. He asked me what was troubling me, I explained everything in brief. He was nodding in approval as if I was teaching something. As soon as I finished my briefing he asked me to go to the adjacent room. It felt like I was being sent to a detention room , so with guilt on my face I went inside. Till now everything about the clinic was very pleasant, it never felt as if I was in a doctor’s clinic – no medicines, no peculiar clinic smell, and no blood, not even horrified people seeking medication. However as I opened the door to the next room everything changed. It was like I had opened a chamber of secrets. My brain was fed with the image of a chair that would have been normally used for torturing Jews.Dental_Unit_Dental_Equipment

Later I realized this is the normal chair where the patients were treated by a dentist. I hesitantly lied down on that machine. After about five minutes a girl entered the room, greeted me and asked me how I was feeling. Well this was a surprise. I never knew doctors hire good looking girls in order to quieten the disturbances going on inside the patient’s mind, like some sort of mental therapy. For a moment I forgot the reason of being there. She had such a racy voice that I felt like recording it. She sensed something unusual about me (She was right as I was in pain and the pumpkin me was on his way. Not at all a good combination.) And left the room.

The equipment around me was frightening. I was wondering whether the doctor was a cannibal of some sort and if he would be ripping off my limbs later. This was a negative outcome of watching movies like Saw and Wrong Turn. While I was busy with all this freak imagination the girl entered again but this time she was wearing a white coat and had rubber gloves in her hand. What the hell! She is a doctor. Why God why? Why do girls like her opt for medical institutes and study so hard when they can be an engineer and can get a chance to study with me without working so hard. Anyway it is their choice, what can I do about it? She came near me, took a tool which had a small round mirror attached to a metal and instructed me to open my mouth so as to examine it.

I was loving every second of it. The attention she was giving me was great. She was inches away from me and was more worried than me. I guess this is what love is all about – caring. I wish I could express what I felt for her then and there but with my mouth wide open being inspected by her, it was impossible.

“You had a  guava in the morning?” She seemed inquisitive.  *Aww just look at her, she is worried about whether I had a healthy breakfast or not! She is totally in love with me. I don’t care if she is older than me. Love is unconditional, age is no bar in love. All I have to do is convince my mother. I am so lucky I had bad teeth. Yaay!*

I nodded.

“You should rinse your mouth properly after eating these fruits. One of its seed is stuck between your teeth.”

Upon hearing this I was like547436_158691667655724_1417763639_n-150x144

She went on to remove that seed. This was damn humiliating. After this she had a word with my mother and doctor, all I comprehended was that I won’t be able to smile for some time afterwards. People shed blood for love and I was about to sacrifice my tooth for her. The world is a weird place .

“It’ll hurt a bit but I am sure you can handle it.” Her smile stopped me from saying anything.

Then she took this out.Lidocaine

“Is that TXG 500?”

“Yes sir.” She just cleared her mentor’s doubt. An injection with a name like that makes it scarier. And before I could react to that she injected something into my gums so as to make my them numb. I couldn’t even scream. All I did was close my eyes as hard as I could and my hand grabbed her hand *Bull’s eye!*. I never thought the first time I would be holding hands with a girl would be in a situation like this. Then she did all sorts of torture she could to my mouth using these evil tools.set-dental-care-instruments-20107248

She took a pointed tool and pressed it against my tooth and asked innocently “Does it hurt?”

* No dear I just had an orgasm after you did that super painful thing to me. Can’t you see my face! I was so much in pain. She was asking me stupid questions just to take revenge for that hand holding thing I guess.*

After 30 minutes she was done with the procedure. The doctor prescribed some pain relieving medicines and I left. On reaching home I was eager to know what all was done to my mouth. Till this time I wasn’t allowed to open my mouth in order to stop the bleeding.

I was shocked to see what she had done to me. Two of my teeth were missing. This was highly unusual. They had removed two of my teeth, one on the bottom left and the other on the upper right part of my mouth. I suspected some kind of tooth smuggling racket involved in this. Who knows after elephant’s tusks, maybe ornaments made from human teeth would be in vogue after some time. You can hardly tell, the world is full of crazy people.

I rushed to the clinic again with my mother and went straight to his room without asking for permission. The moment we entered my mother asked in a loud voice, “Why did you remove that extra tooth without our permission?”

The doctor started laughing on hearing this.

“Look madam, this was only a precautionary step, there is nothing to worry about. The other teeth would have developed a similar problem had we not removed it. ” He and his intern chuckled after his explanation.

My first dental experience was so humiliating, so embarrassing that I promised myself that I will look after my teeth with extra care from now on so that I don’t have to go out on another date with the dentist.